ode to divorce

This song does not remind me of divorce. It is a good divorce song though, I guess, now that I hear it again, in present tense.

Instead this song reminds of me of 2006, of moving to LA, of living in a gay half way house with a bunch of pill poppers and meth addicts, of working at American Apparel, of Melody and Gina and Kyle and Daisy and the rest of them.

American Apparel used to have the best playlist, handpicked and everything, including but not limited to a rendition of “Dreams” by a Fleetwood Mac cover band called “Crystal Visions”.

Now they just use Pandora or something.

iphone notes, lists, poetry

iPhone notes sep 12- 20

things I’ve said this week, to myself:

I want to be one of the good ones
You know about my secret everything
I want to remember you
I want to be sweet
I have a headache, do you have a headache
How are you so always yourself

am I acceptable
are you acceptable
are WE acceptable



The letting go of things,
it feels like:
a headache
low blood sugar
death defying
ill-fitting socks.


Motherhood burns through me, like 

battery acid on mid July


right down to 

the core.


heart of wood,

are you petrified?




“I felt around in my heart and it was not so cold or so hard.”


Meeting downtown 1-3
Talk to Nathanial
Make a template



West coast- Coconut records
is this song nice or annoying


Look up curly short ish hairz  like Kiera knightly and T swift etc


Can I work until 6 on Thursday?


Things to google:
How to stay fit while “recovering”
How to deal with my crazed ovulation personality naturally
How to fix Clem’s chapped lips



things to help PMS; ovulation craziness, according to the internet:

Diindolylmethane/ DIM

spearamint tea


No animal products or high heat foods

Reishi mushrooms



Ask JL about taking kids so I can go to San Diego on oct 3


I just want to be able to run again
Maybe I made a huge mistake.