I picked this at random to listen to while I drove to a meeting downtown. It made me cry like a baby. I’m still not sure why.
This song does not remind me of divorce. It is a good divorce song though, I guess, now that I hear it again, in present tense.
Instead this song reminds of me of 2006, of moving to LA, of living in a gay half way house with a bunch of pill poppers and meth addicts, of working at American Apparel, of Melody and Gina and Kyle and Daisy and the rest of them.
American Apparel used to have the best playlist, handpicked and everything, including but not limited to a rendition of “Dreams” by a Fleetwood Mac cover band called “Crystal Visions”.
Now they just use Pandora or something.
songs to take out the trash to at five in the morning.
“distance has no way of making love understandable”
things I’ve said this week, to myself:
I want to be one of the good ones
You know about my secret everything
I want to remember you
I want to be sweet
I have a headache, do you have a headache
How are you so always yourself
am I acceptable
are you acceptable
are WE acceptable
The letting go of things,
it feels like:
low blood sugar
Motherhood burns through me, like
battery acid on mid July
right down to
heart of wood,
are you petrified?
“I felt around in my heart and it was not so cold or so hard.”
Meeting downtown 1-3
Talk to Nathanial
Make a template
West coast- Coconut records
is this song nice or annoying
Look up curly short ish hairz like Kiera knightly and T swift etc
Can I work until 6 on Thursday?
Things to google:
How to stay fit while “recovering”
How to deal with my crazed ovulation personality naturally
How to fix Clem’s chapped lips
things to help PMS; ovulation craziness, according to the internet:
No animal products or high heat foods
IS THIS TRUE, RESEARCH
Ask JL about taking kids so I can go to San Diego on oct 3
I just want to be able to run again
Maybe I made a huge mistake.