in another dimension, outside of time and space

I’m imagining an alternate reality tonight. I think I would look like this and talk like this, about astrology and children, and be relaxed and at ease in your presence, and make jokes about your atheism and how that will work on our wedding day, if I want to get married in a church, if it were two months ago, and I knew then what I know now.

Or maybe that is impossible to say. Maybe I am the one who wasn’t ready and isn’t ready for the next step. Or maybe i prepared you for a future lover who will get all of you up front, with complete abandon. Maybe we needed all of this to happen exactly how it happened, not for us as individuals or for us as a couple, but for something bigger and beyond us that we will never even know about. And who knows the future or how it will sink it’s teeth into us, but we’ve gotta allow it to consume us nevertheless. And trust in the outcome.

Because, like, what other choice is there really?

I refuse to panic.
I refuse to panic.
I refuse to panic.

Moreover, you are definitely not allowed to panic, because if you are panicking, the world is for sure about to collide with a rogue planet, and we are all totally fucked. Dead and fucked. Dead and fucking?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s