poetry

iphone notes Nov 2 – 7

“The left overs” HBO

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Ted: “What do I want more of in my life?”

1. Exercise

2. Love

3. Alone time

4. Organization

5. Peace

6. Hikes

7. Kale

8. Contentment

9. Eating less

10. Guitar lessons

11. Sewing lessons

12. Personal growth

13. Friend time

14. Writing time

14.5 Time in general

15. Honesty

16. Kind words

17. Patience

18. Joy

19. Thrift stores

20. Record stores

21. Used book stores

22. Tea

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“Look into your heart

what do you see there?”

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Lassens:

Cod liver oil

Green tea

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Renew ATTICUS work permit

Parent teacher conferences B and C

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New food plan:

Stop coffee
nut butter
cashews

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http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/humans-of-new-york-and-the-cavalier-consumption-of-others

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Research coffee consumption and blood sugar connection

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Student loan

Parking ticket #1

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hiking trails

Bronson

Runyon

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Bars for dancing:

The Monty
Short stop
Honeycut (ask LT)

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Look for a cover of the offspring

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Lapsley — burn

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Poet:
Sharon Olds

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“Side note” isn’t one word it seems, who knew

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Restaurants
Kush (echo park)

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Sat:
Amazon crap
Marshals returns
Lindsey party
B soccer noon
Paint nails
Clean house w kids
Pay alls the bills
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All I Want to do on this Day in November:

Is eat sour green apples

a melancholy,

dripping-wet

full body

defeat.

Is listen to that song

with the

bass line

that comes in

so sweet.

Is think about you

bad poetry

all day,

soft light

on repeat.

Is run

and run

and run

until this bitter

heart beats.

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notes

iPhone notes late aug – sep 11

The name of my memoir should be “against my better judgement”
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9405503699300131418490

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Should i dye my hair this color?

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The sun magazine

–> look it up

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Appt:
Bruising ?

Hard to breathe feeling

BLOATING WTF, why do I look five months pregnant, google says this is a thing!?!

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Remember to:

Sign kids up for school lunch

Pay Internet

Water power gas etc

UCLA form

Library fines
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to look back at old

photographs,

It makes my stomach

turn.

to take new

photographs,

It makes my stomach

turn.

always

turning,

turning,

turning.

like tina.

like the byrds.

like the mother fucking chicken

I just killed for dinner.
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“I don’t know everything but I know some things and one thing I know is that your brains are REALLY REALLY SUPER DUPER IMPORTANT. It sends notes to your arms, your legs, stomach, back, and all your body parts.” – Clem
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I keep

Pushing your picture

Further and further away from

The present tense
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Burroughs’s list for 2015-16 accomplishments:

1. visit Oregon

2. learn to snowboard

3. learn to golf
Clemmy’s list for 2015-16

1.go to the desert with dad

2.learn about the year 1968

3. Play the drums

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poetry

iPhone notes August 4-10

To do:

– wax ur junk

– fenugreek

– find pop DVDS

– make ATTICUS kaiser appt for shots

– call dentist about clem

– trim bangs

– first day of school outfits?

– call UCLA see about deadline for undoing loans

– VACUUM OUT UR GODDAMN CAR

– no more smoking when out

– figure out ride situation

– babysitting for Monday?

– pick up purse at dry cleaners

– sign B up for something (AYSO?art class? Guitar?)

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Dear Jennifer,

Hello. I would like you to know a few things. Here is a list of the reasons I love you:
1. You are very beautiful

2. You are very, very, very generous with time/ money/ energy/ etc

3. You feed me when I am too tired to feed myself

4. You feed me when I have just eaten

5. You feed me in general

6. Your love for people is tangible and practical and visible to those around you

7. You are a dedicated and enduring mother

8. You are a dedicated and enduring wife

9. You are the most hospitable human I have ever encountered on planet earth

10. You are fun to be around

11. You are an attentive listener when I need an ear

12. You look hot in a bathing suit
In short, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to an amazing creature. I adore you.
Love,

Liz

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“when you get to season three of the regular show it’s hilarious because Mordecai has girl problems exactly like dad. He breaks up with Margaret but still hangs out with her and then hangs out with his new girlfriend CJ too!” b Law

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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zt2S8T-xLaY&feature=youtu.be

“I need you

I don’t need you

I need you

I don’t need you”

forever and forever amen.

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No CARBS BASICALLY!

god I’m failing this game, all

the carbs, all the time.

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Drowning dream with marlene

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I like how you make me
Wait

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A list of words I hate:

plush

patty

panties

ponies

popcorn

pamphlet

and

moist

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Music

Is moving me

So much I feel like I

Am going to THROW UP

When I hear something I really like

(Or in other words: wtf is happening to my body hmmmm)

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Found things:

          
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Write something and call it “self portrait”

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9405503699300119307877

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iphone notes

iPhone notes, July 28-Aug 3

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Stuff to get on vinyl:

Jolie holland- catalpa

Beck- one foot in the grave

Some mother fucking Garth Brooks

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Girl music:

Joanna newsom- Swansea, gallop, this side of the blue

Jolie holland- damn shame, roll my blues away, old fashioned morphine

Angel Olsen- safe in the womb?

Jessica Pratt- bushel Hyde

Cocorosie- terrible Angels / housewife/ werewolf

Josephine foster- all I wanted was the moon

Nico- I’ll be your mirror

Maybe make a playlist in the morning?

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That hair:

Yellow

Brown

Red

They scurry off

To beds unmade

But contained.

 

It all

Spills out but

I adore the smell

Of their morning

breath any how.

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Dye hair blacker

Price out ghost tattoo

Stop being an idiot

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I feel so naked and vulnerable around you

It makes me sick

To my

Stomach.

Puke

(barfe).

//

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write out a stand-up bit with LT

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Nut butter

and coffee

and Avocado

and Kombucha

and salad

and chicken

and Tea

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9405503699300111772994

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What would make me feel good:

eating better things,

not using social media,

writing things out longhand,

leaning back a little bit,

looking for job or committing to grad school, which one?

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Look up:

Wild belle / major laser – be together

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Why does it smell like an asshole in my car?

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I just blew my caloric load on trail mix

I lost my whole dinner to M&Ms and raisins

while I was driving

Burroughs swatting my hand away from his bag

on the freeway.

why am I a child?

Somebody tell me.

and why do I care?

Somebody else tell me.

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Beck- a western harvest field by moonlight

–> lampshade

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Get guitar back

Find Guitar lessons!!!

Sign B up for soccer asap

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A list of things that taste good:

1. Cold chicken noodle soup out of OR still in a can

2. Coffee with too much cream

3. KOMBUCHA in all varieties

4. Upside down cake in all varieties

5. Avocados

6. Guacamole

7. Margaritas with pineapple juice instead of the mix

8. The kisses of someone who ate the aforementioned items

9. Cold chicken in general

10. vegetable broth

11. Green juice, when it tastes like grass

12. Pennies

13. Nutella

14. Altoids

15. Bacon

16. Bacon and avocado mashed together into a big glory pile

17. Blueberries

18. Cold tortillas out of the fridge but I try not to do this too often, I have a tendency to go over board

19. Peanut Butter

20. Cashew butter

21. Almond butter

22. Coconut butter

23. All the butters
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“I am

determined to

bump into some

other similar bundle

of molecules

residing

this side of heaven.”

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Say too much

Say too little

Say too much

Say too little

Say too much

Say too little

Say too much

Say too little

and on and on

it goes.

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Therapist:

What do you want

Uphold boundaries

Don’t judge myself r now

(Or ever? Impossible)

How I am feeling/acting makes sense

(But is it OK, I mean serial killer’s actions make sense in certain respects right?)

If I could wave a magic wand what would my relationship with X look like right now

(“A year from now ….”. “No not a year from now, now”.)

Balance

(“I know nothing about balance. It’s not a possibility for me for any length of time”. “Well we should talk about that.”)

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Job hunt

Write things

CLEAN UR CAR you disgusting freak

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notes

i-phone notes, july 20-27

“I just want to make my own YouTube channel about boy things, you know, with a cool name like Stunter, or B boy, or something like that, with skateboarding tricks.

But you don’t know how to skateboard

well I could learn, right”

– B. Law

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TELL ME WHAT YOU KNOW.

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Therapist:
What do I want
Do I want less custody
Do I want to a job instead of grad school
What do I want in a person
If I could have my perfect magical unicorn life what would it look like
(Write it all out this week)

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Clementine: I just pooped like an adult!

(I discover this means sitting on the rim on the toilet with the seat up)

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The problem with nut butter is that no matter how much I do or do not eat it never satisfies me, I feel the same way about sex drugs rock and roll and most things, except for broccoli because it’s fucking disgusting.

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emotional barf
trail mix, body aches
life in minor key
babies and messes
and hearts on fire…
there are many
inconvenient truths,
he was right.

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Me and my baby

We eat peanut butter off a spoon

We bathe once a week

We sneak out at dawn

We fight in grunts and guttural noises

We go to sleep

We try to dream.

Humble pie and grown up things

Me and my baby

We do and we do and we do

What we do.

And that’s the end of that.

(Maybe I am at the end of me.

Maybe He is at the beginning. )

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Paper towels
quarters
kombucha
bananas
tortillas (both kinds)
greek yogurt
avocado (lots)
apples
kale
melons
BLUEBERRIES
heavy cream
almond butter
peanut butter
ground beef
chicken
eggs (x 2)
nuts
toothpaste

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dream haiku

her name was Feather
nurses costume latex gloves
syringe in left hand.

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les blank movies:

spend it all
gap toothed woman

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diapers
bathroom cleaner
new sponge
nail polish
new dishwashing gloves
open bank account for baby
pay internet bill

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“I can really imagine myself doing that,”

I reveled to myself,

Out loud.

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